You just know...

Somethimes you do things, you don't want to do. But you do them anyway to make someone else feel shit. However, it makes you feel bad as well as you did not want to do it in the first place, and afterwards you noticed it didn't work. I did something like that today and it makes me feel angry. With myself, that I lowered myself to do such thing and with the other party as the person knew the intentions (probably) and didn't do anything to be more wise party. And the goal I wanted to achieve by my actions was not even reached, so it was useless all over! You just know that somethings have to be handled differently, but emotions sometimes take the best of you. In those cases you end up being hurt or feeling shit even more.....

Ciao!

Ixis  

Bad weather

Waauw, currently some bad weather here, after a very and very hot day. Some heavy rains, winds, hail and lightning has been predicted but so far it's not as bad as was thought. The entire day some alarms have been given by the weather authorities and the trains follow a adapted schedule. Well let's see what it'll bring. I'm glad that these winds blow some fresh and cooler air. Sad thing it doesn't reach my room very well as it blows over the house and my room is at the back :(

Ciao!

Ixis

picture: Ron Nie

Friendship

A treasure of wisdom

Sometimes I just come across these beautiful picture which are worth looking at and reading. Sometimes you need to be remembered of certain aspects in life to genuinely appreciate it once more. It's up to you how you deal with situation that are thrown onto your path of life (Wow, how philosophical do I sound right now...) When reading this Dutch Magazine 'Happinez', there was an article about wisdom in which short but powerful was summarized: knowledge + experience = wisdom. 7 insights were chosen in this article which can give you wisdom. But to reach it, you have to experience it. Each insight has an exercise to lead you to and through this experience and the corresponding wisdom. I intend to follow these exercises on the insights: giving, unity, love, trust, wealth, happiness and speech. A bit like the seven deadly sins, but than the other way around. I will post updates of every insight and exercise, just to  have an extra motivation to really go through with it.

Ciao!

Ixis

Fathersday

A few days ago it was fathersday. And just as I did for my mom, I gave my dad a nice poem and a little present, to express my love for him very explicitly. Because he deserves it! The poem is originally in Dutch in which the words rhyme. Now I've translated it:

Dad,

A few kind and loving words for you,

As a thank you for all the good advice

Especially for you, my dad

My help and support

Daddy, you are the man, who during my entire life

gave me all your trust and security.

Therefore these kind and loving words,

Because I've learned a lot from you

I love you!

Relationship level

There are different relationship levels. From the one in which you are dating, seeing and spending time together and you are just most gallant like holding doors open, bringing a nice flower, not burping etc. to the level on which you are most comfortable with and around each other. I think my relationship just reached this level the other day, when my boyfriend came into the bathroom and peed when I was in the room. Even though we are 5,5 years together, we've never done that before. And to be honest, that was completely fine with me. I don't feel the need to pee in front of my boyfriend and I hope it was just a one time thing that he did it in front of me. Things like this show the 'raw' person, while I like to keep having this picture of the gallant gentlemen who courted me. I don't want this picture of him like a primitive man (not that he is, but hope you get what I mean). I like to have this idealistic view instead of this reality which occurs when 2 people have been together for a while. It's a good thing that he feels as comfortable as he does around me to do this, and probably I'm a weird one for even thinking about this kind of things but I just do. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Quote

Looking back...

Source: www.cherrybam.com

There are some things in life that (looking back on it) were not the most smart things to do. But does life have to be all about being smart? As I posted in my previous article, I think not. You can write about the things you should or should not do, but actually doing things can trigger a reaction. Positive or negative. When I was 17 I kissed a boy whom I thought was real nice and cute. However at the time I was dating someone else for a month. This guy kind off made the decision on his own that we were dating, by telling me (after we kissed the first time) 'Ok, now I'm not single anymore'. I was 17 and just went with it. In this month we saw each other maybe 5 times, because he was graduating and had to study a lot. So I didn't experience it as a real relationship. Then this party came and I can remember it quite vividly. 'Just do, as you heart tells you to do' my girlfriend told me. And I did :) And kissed this guy I was really into. On the one hand you can say I cheated on this guy I was dating for a month. And technically I did. But I experienced this 'relationship' in a completely different way. If I wanted to do the smart thing, I should have told him that one kiss does not mean you immediately are in a relationship with the guy. But I was naive and didn't do that. So at the party, I followed my heart for the evening and that made me smile. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Talk Less, Do More

Ok, who am I kidding. I'm not a 'live-life-to-the-fullest' kinda person. I wish I was, but I'm not. All these quotes like 'live like there is no tomorrow' and 'live like everyday can be your last' are very beautiful ánd very true! But I don't life up to them. I'm very much of a doubter. About which glasses to buy, whether this pants look good on me, about whether or not to go to a party, about love.. sort off about everyting. I should talk less about these things and do more! I want to go that party, but on the other hand I don't. Why? I think because I almost never do things like this. I'm not spontaneous. Sometimes I'm jealous of some of my friends, just because they áre those type of persons who just do things. They feel like it, and they go for it. What's wrong with me that I am not like that? Eventually people may stop ask me to join for parties or other events because they know I will never come (well not never, but let's say, not often either). Because it's difficult with travel, with the time to come home, with my mom who rather has me close by to protect me. Yeah... and me? I'm a wimp who listens to all of it. As you may reason from this, I'm very insecure. Whether or not I'm liked enough and everything. I should stop talking about it and do more! Because every time I hear my friends talk about things they did, I whished I was there to join them and enjoy it with them. Sometimes I'm complaining that I'm not undertaking enough now that I'm still young. So I should just stop talking and do more. But why am I still in two minds?

Ciao!

Ixis

Master Thesis

It's been a couple of days since I've written anything. It's been a busy weekend for me as I had to work, had two birthday parties and two days of national holiday. But today it's kind off judgment day... Well in some sense. Today is the official start of my research project for my master thesis. Really exiting and hoping that everything will go as planned. Up until now it didn't go anything as planned, but here I am, at the same point I would have been at when everything did go according to my plan (saw a nice movie by the way about the ' plan of life' each person has, called 'the adjustment bureau'. Bit weird, but also nice). Anyhow... here I am. Probably a lot more stressed tough. My questionnaire has been activated and can be filled in now. I've been made aware of a 'normal' response rate on such questionnaires of about 30%. Currently after 1 day, my response rate is 4,3%. So it has to climb bigtime. Hopefully it will.. Ok it was a short little update. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Quote

People come and go

By KissofCrimson

When I heard about the breakup of a befriended couple, I started to think about the ways in which people come into your life and the ways in which they go. In my view, this does not only apply to lovers, but to all people and human relationships in general. When a couple splits up, often one of them remains in the group of friends, while the other person returns to his or her own group of friends. In this situation, the girl came into the group so probably she will be leaving again. Some contact and staying in touch in the beginning but I think this will fade away eventually. I always could get along with her very well, and in some way therefore, I will miss her. And there are more situations like this in life. People you meet, and can get along with very well. Special people you just 'connect' with and enjoy spending time just in a friendship kind off way. Sometimes simple circumstances can take a dear friend, lover or someone else right out of your hands, never to be seen again. I've experienced it a few times in my life so far and actually it makes me sad to think of those people now that they are out of my life, because I miss them. Lost track of each other and lost touch. 

Unlike the text in the picture above, also those people who come and go again, can leave an intense footprint on your heart. I do believe that people come and go into your life for a reason. I read a nice quote that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. It seems simple and clear but why are those people out of my life then? What is I learned, or was supposed to learn? It was said that without any wrongdoing on our part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. And as much as I would like to, sometimes reconnection just doesn't work...

Ciao!

Ixis

Seaside Rendezvous

Certain songs have a special kind off vibe and seem to attract you more than others. For me 'Seaside Rendezvous' by Dennis Kolen is on of those songs. When I listen to it, it sooths me and helps to calm me down. It truly has an effect on my mindset. For some reason I completely get carried away by it and my mind starts to drift and wonder. In stressful periods I like to listen to songs like this. Their melody and their lyrics help me to relax for a few minutes, which sometimes is necessary to see things in perspective again. It's hard to explain. Well, maybe you know what I mean. Give it a try and press play. It's absolutly a great song!

Ciao!
Ixis

Heartbreak

A few days ago I heard the news that a befriended couple is taking a break and probably splitting up. It's just awful news to hear! A few years back my boyfriend had a rocky period in which he didn't know if he wanted to continue his relationship with me. I was heartbroken and really felt miserable. When the girl in the befriended couple called me, I could hear the same pain and despair in her voice. She (as did I 2 years ago) did absolutely not see it coming from her (ex-)boyfriend, which made the impact of the news even harder. I was listening to myself when I heard her speaking on the phone and I just wanted to reassure and comfort her and tell her everything would be ok. But what do you say in moments like this? If you don't know if there is hope they will get back together again? It does make me think about my own relationship. After a period of break we got back together again. Now 2 years along I sometimes have these questions whether he is thé guy for me. As he is my first boyfriend and serious relationship I sometimes wonder what else is out there. But then.. I cannot stand the thought of us breaking up again or seeing him with some other girl. That must be a sign. How stupid it may seem I even am grateful to have experienced this 'experience of breaking up'. It's part of life and even though it was a shitty one, I have endured it and I survived. I hope I was able to lend an ear to the girl in the befriended couple, so she could tell her story and ventilate her misunderstandings about this situation. I really hope they will work out a solution and I kinda hope they will get back together again. But it's not up to me....

Ciao!

Ixis

One month anniversary

Today my blog is one month old! After my update at the end of the first week I decided to change the language from Dutch to English to see what effect it would have. Still ofcourse I have no clue whether you guys visit my blog out of true curiosity and interest or whether you happen to stumble upon it by chance. Nevertheless readers from foreign countries increased in these past few weeks and I could not only welcome you from Germany, Belgium and the United States, but also from Cyprus, Spain, the UK, Indonesia, Norway and Hongkong. How cool is that! Welcome to all of you! Still I do not really have one clear theme for my blog posts, but it's kind off like a mishmash. I hope my blog will continue to grow in the next month and hopefully your visits will keep increasing. I didn't start this blog because I wanted readers. I just wanted to post my thoughts and literally share them with the world. But then when you see the stats and realise someone from Hongkong dropped by, it's makes you realize how small the world is on the internet and makes you wonder what possibilities there are. Enjoy your visit to Ixis Ideas!

Ciao!

Ixis

Federer - Nadal

source

Exiting tennis final between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Recently I my self started to play tennis and now it's even more fun to watch certain matches and see how the game is supposed to be played. At the moment it's quite close between the both with 2 sets to 1 for Nadal. Let's see who will stick out the longest and will win the French Open 2011.

*update 22.13 hrs*
Waauw what a last set. It looked so promising after the third set and then this fourth one with 6-1 to Nadal. You always hope for a nice match where the players really go up against each other. But Federer gave all he had and he had no more. I thought Nadal played more consistent throughout the entire game whereas Federer seemed to fall back a bit in this fourth set. Great match to look at and lots to learn for me. I'm already waiting for Wimbledon to begin! (And not only for the nice Wimbledon strawberries...)

Ciao!

Ixis

Have a good weekend!

source

Quote

There is nothing more difficult to take in hand
more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success,
than to take the lead in the introduction of
a new order of things.

-Niccolo Machiavelli-