10 years

Wow what a lovely surprise weekend!! This weekend (september 5th) my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We were supposed to go out for dinner, but in the morning he woke me up and asked me to pack my suitcase!! What a surprise. He arranged a nice suite in a hotel and we visited Rotterdam. There were the world harbour days which were nice. In the evening we went out for a dinner at a restaurant of a famous chef. It was wonderful. Thank you so much honey. You really surprised me! I love it how you went through all this trouble for me. Thank you so much for being my best friend and my love. I have loved you these 10 years, and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life!

Ciao!

Ixis

Easter dance

How something so simple can make me so happy! Yesterday I was at moms and dads. We were there to celebrate easter. I was there a bit more early because mom and I have this tradition of coloring some easter eggs. So of course we had to do that this year as well. Mom and dad have been into dancing since a few months. They joined their friends who have been doing it for several years. It started with their trip to Benidorm last October. Yesterday I got a little show of the dances they have learned. I got this show form both my mom and my dad! It is so wonderful! My mom is a type of persons who enjoys doing these things. And she just goes for it. She likes to learn and she doesn't let it stop her when she doesn't know a dance just quite yet. My dad however is different. Especially after his heart attack 1,5 years ago his short term memory is affected a bit. He is not the type to memorize a dance, let alone perform it when he doesn't know it quite yet. But even my dad performed for me yesterday! It was just wonderful to watch. How something so small, seeing ma parents dance, could make me so happy! Just to see how it makes them happy. And just to see it happening, as that time 1,5 years ago went down a little different, this wasn't even possible. I loved it. I loved watching it and I feel they deserve to do these dances for at least a whole lot of years more!

Happy easter!

Ciao!

Ixis

1 day till Christmas

It is just one more day until it is Christmas. But it will be a sad one this year as the family is not complete. We miss our beloved Tinky. A beautiful cat to cuddle. Unless she let you know it was enough. She joined us at Christmas dinner together with her son, our other cat. They had their own scratching post which was also used a some sort of chair. This year there will only be one instead of two. I believe it was the right thing to do. Our little thing was really sick as the vet told us. But you always wonder if there was something more you could do. Or well, if there was something you could do which was not so intense for the poor thing. You don't want her to cause more trouble for a few months / years just for our own pleasure. No I want what's best for her. Well, I wanted what's for her. Tiny I love you. Rest in peace my love.

If love could have kept you here, you would have lived forever. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Rest in Peace my love Tinky

Today I had to say goodbye to one of my loves in life, Tinky. Our cat who was with us for 16 years. The love. She was familiar with kidney trouble, but the last week things got worse. So we made the terrible decision to help her die to safe here the suffering. To be honest I am devastated. She was just so lovely. I've had her since I was 10 years old. So I've had her most of my life. I am going to miss her terribly, but I will never forget her! Tiny God bless you. I hope you now longer feel sick. I so at the moment but I will be better. I love you.

Ciao!
Ixis

One year ago

Another milestone. One year ago my life was turned upside down when my father ended up in the hospital with a serious heart condition. CPR, 'induced' coma and a cooling down procedure where necessary to help my dad recover. All this started exactly 366 days ago, October 18th 2013. Now, October 19th 2014 he stood here today helping to coordinate how my boyfriend and I cleaned our tetras roof. I am just so blessed that things ended the way they did. First of all because of the strength of my mom, who despite all her worries started CPR gave the doctors a chance to perform surgery. So my mom did saved my dad's life. Just incredible how she did that. My mom and dad just came back from their holiday. I so hope they can enjoy so much more holiday's together. I hope they can enjoy their grandchildren in a few years time. I hope that this has made them stronger a team together and they will each be happy. I love them so much. These are the things that matter in life. You need to realize that in times when just everyday things seem to take over.

Ciao!

Ixis

sleepover part 2

Last year we had our first sleepovers at grandma's. This year the family again divided some days the spent the night at grandma's while the two uncles are on holiday. Last night was my turn. Together with mom there were 3 generations of girls there. It was fun. My grandma can be a little baggy sometimes, but I hope she enjoyed having us. Hopefully we can still do it next year :)

Ciao!

Ixis

Quote

Fathersday

A few days ago it was fathersday. And just as I did for my mom, I gave my dad a nice poem and a little present, to express my love for him very explicitly. Because he deserves it! The poem is originally in Dutch in which the words rhyme. Now I've translated it:

Dad,

A few kind and loving words for you,

As a thank you for all the good advice

Especially for you, my dad

My help and support

Daddy, you are the man, who during my entire life

gave me all your trust and security.

Therefore these kind and loving words,

Because I've learned a lot from you

I love you!

Looking back...

Source: www.cherrybam.com

There are some things in life that (looking back on it) were not the most smart things to do. But does life have to be all about being smart? As I posted in my previous article, I think not. You can write about the things you should or should not do, but actually doing things can trigger a reaction. Positive or negative. When I was 17 I kissed a boy whom I thought was real nice and cute. However at the time I was dating someone else for a month. This guy kind off made the decision on his own that we were dating, by telling me (after we kissed the first time) 'Ok, now I'm not single anymore'. I was 17 and just went with it. In this month we saw each other maybe 5 times, because he was graduating and had to study a lot. So I didn't experience it as a real relationship. Then this party came and I can remember it quite vividly. 'Just do, as you heart tells you to do' my girlfriend told me. And I did :) And kissed this guy I was really into. On the one hand you can say I cheated on this guy I was dating for a month. And technically I did. But I experienced this 'relationship' in a completely different way. If I wanted to do the smart thing, I should have told him that one kiss does not mean you immediately are in a relationship with the guy. But I was naive and didn't do that. So at the party, I followed my heart for the evening and that made me smile. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Honey, shall we go again?

Well, a rather strange subject maybe, but one that does occupy my mind. An item of friction in my relationship is the amount of love-making between my boyfriend and me. It happens to be that my boyfriends libido is much higher than mine which often leads to frustrating situations. It's been an issue for some time now, and I am blamed that I'm the weird one in this. I don't know.. I just don't have the urge for sex every time. My boyfriend is really insecure about this, and tries to make up for this by seeking more physical contact. which than has the opposite affect on me which leads me to take more distance. A vicious circle is born and we keep getting stuck in it. I really do feel I am the weird one because of my low libido. Internet does not really comfort me when ready fora and people stating to have sex (almost) everyday. I absolutely love my boyfriend, but I don't feel the need to express this via sex every time. I even started wondering if I'm experiencing asexuality. Sometimes, when I don't want to, and my boyfriend does, I just give in but don't really enjoy it. I don't want this.. I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend, but I also want him to respect my lower libido and don't push it all the time. Well.. what to do about it?

Ciao!

Ixis

True Love?

Sometimes I'm wondering how to recognize true love. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5,5 years now and I absolutely enjoy spending time with him. We sometimes have an argument, like every couple has once in a while, but most of the time I feel very loved and secure and really feel I've found a soulmate. I love him and and I really see a future together for us, but how do you know if the person you have found is your true love? I mean, he is my very first serious boyfriend and the first serious relationship I've ever been in. I was 17 when I met him and we started dating, so he kind of is my high school sweetheart. How do you know if this is the person who is meant for you? If you don't know what else is running around this earth, how do you know that the feelings you feel are love? Are those feelings of love and having found a soulmate really feelings of love and having found a soulmate? Or is it just what I make of it, of how I think it should feel? 

At times I think I'm just curious about what else is out there, to see if I'm missing something in this relationship. In order to find out I will have to risk my relationship with my boyfriend and that's not what I want. But then, when everything stays the same I will never know if these feelings are really what they are meant to be... I think it's a question of faith. If you feel happy and confident you just feel that it is, how it is meant to be. I don't know where these thoughts come from, and if they have to mean anything. Can't it just be that I am a curious type of person who is just wondering about the 'what if...'. Or is there is something in my relationship which causes me to have these feelings.

Ciao!

Ixis

Een gedicht geschreven in een liefdevolle bui

Forever yours
Always mine
That's the way I long to be
You truly are my destiny