goodbye Grandpa

It's been a while since my last blogpost, but my last few days were quite hectic. 2 days before my job interview I got the news that my grandfather was admitted to the hospital. That's never good news, but my grandfather has a history of heart disease for which he has been admitted earlier. But he is a strong man and always faught his way back and overcame his hospital stay. Up untill the last time he was admitted. 

Saturday November 12th my mom told me that grandpa had been admitted to the hospital. Nothing too serious yet, he was retaining fluids coming from his weaker heart. Sunday I went to see him, telling him about my job interview the next day. He even was giving me advice about what to do, and how to look the sweet man. Even in the hospital bed he was thinking about others and about his grand daughter looking good the next day. He was up and awake and I had good hopes for him to come home. 

As you know I got the job and the first thing I wanted to do was tell my grandfather. However, he was on the coronary care unit where no phones are allowed. My aunt went to see him monday evening and told him. The night from monday to tuesday back luck stroke. I don't really know what happened but it was not good news. Apparently CPR had to be performed. As the days progressed my grandfather got worse. I saw him again on wednesday but my grandfathers condition got worse. He was tired from the medication he got for the kidneys as the heart could not do the work properly anymore, but he was still quite bright asking about my new job. 

The next friday I visited him again but I really saw him getting worse. I still didn't want to leave my hope as he was way worse 2,5 years back and still faught his way back. But I saw him getting more tired, more absent and everything. That weekend everything deteriorated very fast as sunday my parents told me that the drugs were stopped to see how strong his own heart would be as the drugs couldn't make him better anymore. The whole family was by his side the next few days. Even grandma who didn't want to come to the hospital. Sunday he was really restless and probably in pain. It was so tuff to watch. You really feel powerless at such time. 

Monday I had a second interview at my new job to discuss the contract and I was invited to participate in a meeting for a project I'm going to do. After that I went to the hospital where my  grandfather was more peaceful as he got more morphine. We knew it was just waiting for him to choose his moment to pass away, which he did in the night from monday to tuesday. 

After that the days were filled with organizing the funeral which was quite hectic. I'm so glad that I didn't have to start with my new job yet and that I had the time to be part of everything concerning the funeral. It really was a family activity which gave me a lot of support. Due to these circumstances my aunt (who was supposed to go to Paris last weekend) asked me to go with my niece. Of course I would! So I went this weekend to lovely Paris! 

After these hectic 2 weeks I had a few days to recover before I start my new job tomorrow. Kind of exiting, but I know now once again that family and love are more important things to worry about that worrying whether I'm good enough for the job. They did choose me for a reason after all.

I love you grandfather, I'm grateful for the times we spent together and I will never forget you. For always in my heart!

Ciao!

Ixis

Hired!!!

I'm hired!! Yesterday I had my very first job interview for my very first job after student life, and I'm hired! I'm soo happy, since it's a job in an organization in which I really wanted to work. It's the company for which I performed my master thesis. I can already start in 2,5 weeks so it's just great!

Ciao!

Ixis

D-Day

Tomorrow is my first job interview. I'm really nervous. Trying to get some good night sleep and be all fit an shiny tomorrow.

Ciao!
Ixis

Second Job Interview

Got another invitation! Next tuesday I'm invited for a second job interview! Real great, but really scary as I am to 'proof' myself. It are both good tests for me on how to present myself and show and explain in this limited time who I am and what I can bring into the company.

I'm already reading some frequently asked questions, studying the companies websites and all. But the real trick for me is to stay calm and relax and not stress out already 3 days before the first interview. Because that is my real test. I know I'm able to present myself quite well, but keeping control of the nerves and with that remembering everything I wanted to say is a whole different aspect.

Ciao!
Ixis

Job interview

Today I received an invitation for a job interview! Great news, but already slightly panicking.... My first serious job interview and not just for an internship or student job. Sh*t! I really want this job so preparation is the key. Getting familiar with the company, knowing my own strengths and weaknesses, thinking about the question why the should hire me, and not the candidate before me. Yes, I want this. I'm going to do it and leave a good impression! Hopefully it will do the job.

Ciao!

Ixis

Your past

It's funny how your past sometimes catches up with you. Shows you a glimpse of how it used to be. Gives you a reminder of a time you don't want to get back to, or let's you look back on a carefree time.

Last week my past caught up with me when I encountered two people from the past. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend. The one which gave (gives) me an inferiority complex. And my ex-boyfriend. Words were not exchanged and the ex-girlfriend probably didn't even see me. My ex-boyfriend however saw me and looked at me, but his facial expression did not change at all. No recognition probably? I did look totally different than 6 years ago, with my haircut and glasses. Or was it resentment as we didn't split up quite nicely. That he did recognize me, but did not want to say anything.

Why did my past caught up with me? What lesson needs to be learned? Or is it mere coincidence? I don't know. But I do know that it is quite coincidental that I encountered both these persons on the same day in the same location. It does make me think about stuff again.

Ciao!

Ixis

something to inspire you

"The best things in life are unseen, that's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry & dream..."

inspiring quotes

When surfing on the internet I read some inspiring quotes which I would like to share with you. Just let them sink in and think about it.

• When you don't believe in it, it will never happen.
• Starting plus continuing is conquering.
• Control your anger, or the anger will control you.
• The longest road, is that on which one stumbles.
• It is not a shame when you fall, but it's terrible when you do not get up

Ciao!

Ixis

Job Hunting

As I wrote earlier, I am graduated and have started my job hunt. Up until this week I still had some finishing to do with the research company for my master thesis. The final presentation, writing a Dutch summary and the interview for the company magazine for example. Last week was the closing week concerning this and my thesis was officially closed/ended. Then, I went to a governmental temporary employment agency to subscribe myself as a job seeker. Last wednesday I went there, but it turned out that no meeting was scheduled (even though I was told on the phone there would be), so I showed up for nothing. Argh! Next friday a new appointment is scheduled so hopefully it will help.

This week is just empty. There is nothing left to do for me concerning being a student, I wrote several job application letters, so now it's just waiting for an invitation or not. If not the search will start all over again. But my days now are just real empty. I'd love to keep up my blog writing, but I just don't have much inspiration. Cleaning the house, feeding and playing with the cat, playing some computer games, watching tv. It's nothing like the holiday's when I was still a student. Perhaps it only feels like a holiday when you know there is something waiting for you to get started on when you get back.

Ciao!

Ixis