zondag 19 juni 2016

Not fitting in

There are many places I feel like a stranger, where I feel I don't belong. My family is one of those places. I don't mean my mom and dad, but my aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. They just seem like this completely different type of people. Everytime there is an event (like a birthday or something like that) I attend. But each time I just don't fit in. There is no conversation I can join. No questions I can ask. I am not loud enough, I am not asked. Then I invite my family once, almost no one can attend. It makes me feel like I just don't count. Today the son of my niece celebrated his first birthday. But I just couldn't make a conversation. Especially with my loud family. I also was embarrassed because I said something, which was blabbermouthed on to my entire family. Great. And my gift? Well, that was just a strange dirty book. Even though it was on the requested list. I am sure after I left my family would have complained about how cranky they probably found me, and how I made my mom and dad go home. Well I guess I have to deal with that. So next time? Maybe I will do my family a favor and don't attend. In that case I cannot ruin their celebration. And I get to spend a little free time for the weekend. Because guess what, it is already 7PM and in about 3 hours I need to go to bed, because the stupid tired me cannot get out of bed otherwise. 

Ciao!
Ixis

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