Change is the only constant

I had this quote once before I think, but it is so true! In life, especially at work this line is a steady base. My work has been really dynamic lately. And looking back, this job has been one bumpy dynamic ride. Just now my colleague phoned me saying she (for 99%) has a new job. For her it is brilliant. At work she wasn't able any more to be herself and evolve. She literally became sick of it. I am happy for her, but a little sad for me. She is the second 'working experience' colleague I had and I she was really nice to work with! My first colleague left after a little over a year because he wanted to go and study again. Then she came, and a little before she reaches the 2 year mark, she will most likely leave. 

Them leaving makes me a bit sad because it forces me to look at myself. The first colleague wanted to gain some work experience in the field. He was still young (2 years younger than me) and finding his professional self. I could very much relate because, as you know, I like my job but often wonder what else is out there. This find the 'else'  that is out there, you have to take a leap. He took one, and I didn't. Well baby steps I did, talking to some people, sniffing out different jobs. But not the big step. But then again, about 8 months ago I got myself a fixed contract. And in the life's phase I am in, it provides me with a little security. You know in case there will be babies. 

Then this girl came around, more sure this was her line of job. I could give her room and time to evolve in her job, she really liked it, our supervisor approved it, and we both were really finding our place in this job. Then with all the changes from last years and early on in this year, things changed again. The room to go besides your narrow job description became a lot smaller. Which for her meant a lot of handing in the extra things she could do. It is a shame because we really had it going good. Now she will most likely go off taking new steps, and I remain seated. Another mirror. 

Change is the only constant in life. A cliché quote because it is so true. I realize that for me change functions as a mirror. Because it makes me rethink my situation. I feel it only impacts me because it should impact me. It should function as a mirror. So I should really take it into account. I am just not quite sure how to proceed and take action for my own. 

Ciao!

Ixis

I ain't going back

In my last blogpost I wrote about my 'sort of' job interview. A few days later I got a phone call that this organization wants me to come work for them! Great! No more insecurity because now I know for sure that I have a job and thus income again. However, as I explained during the interview I have written a letter for a job somewhere else. So they want me to come work for them, but they give me time to wait and see what result will come out of my letter I wrote to this other company. That gives me just a great position. 

However, I feel that my opportunity to go back to my former employer become smaller and smaller. I even start to think that I ain't going back there. This is kind off a new insight as the past couple of weeks I had always this little voice in my head saying that in the end I was going back there. Things have changed. Opportunities arose and because of this, I now strongly feel that going back is no longer the best / most obvious option. It's quite hard to explain. This feeling or realisation as you might call it, makes me miss the good times I had there even more, as I now really face the fact that I might never experience those again. The goodbyes there were just formal goodbyes when I left. Because I would be back here. But now I just don't see that happen anymore. So it is a little bit of grieve knowing that it (almost certainly) has ended. 

Change is approaching. If one thing is certain in life it is that nothing will stay the same and everything will change. I am not so good with change. I haven't figured out quite yet what it is that makes me dislike change (except a bit of human nature i guess), but it makes me feel restless. Change creates new expectations and can I life up to them? Change gives insecurity, will it get better than the situation I was in? Or isn't it possible to get better and will I only loose something? These are questions I struggle with. Change makes me fear the unknown, even if I already know this unknown for a little bit. 

Ciao!

Ixis