Change is the only constant

I had this quote once before I think, but it is so true! In life, especially at work this line is a steady base. My work has been really dynamic lately. And looking back, this job has been one bumpy dynamic ride. Just now my colleague phoned me saying she (for 99%) has a new job. For her it is brilliant. At work she wasn't able any more to be herself and evolve. She literally became sick of it. I am happy for her, but a little sad for me. She is the second 'working experience' colleague I had and I she was really nice to work with! My first colleague left after a little over a year because he wanted to go and study again. Then she came, and a little before she reaches the 2 year mark, she will most likely leave. 

Them leaving makes me a bit sad because it forces me to look at myself. The first colleague wanted to gain some work experience in the field. He was still young (2 years younger than me) and finding his professional self. I could very much relate because, as you know, I like my job but often wonder what else is out there. This find the 'else'  that is out there, you have to take a leap. He took one, and I didn't. Well baby steps I did, talking to some people, sniffing out different jobs. But not the big step. But then again, about 8 months ago I got myself a fixed contract. And in the life's phase I am in, it provides me with a little security. You know in case there will be babies. 

Then this girl came around, more sure this was her line of job. I could give her room and time to evolve in her job, she really liked it, our supervisor approved it, and we both were really finding our place in this job. Then with all the changes from last years and early on in this year, things changed again. The room to go besides your narrow job description became a lot smaller. Which for her meant a lot of handing in the extra things she could do. It is a shame because we really had it going good. Now she will most likely go off taking new steps, and I remain seated. Another mirror. 

Change is the only constant in life. A cliché quote because it is so true. I realize that for me change functions as a mirror. Because it makes me rethink my situation. I feel it only impacts me because it should impact me. It should function as a mirror. So I should really take it into account. I am just not quite sure how to proceed and take action for my own. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Christmas tree

Hello December, Hello cold whether, hello Christmas Tree. Today my boyfriend and I put up the Christmas Tree. Even though in the Netherlands today (December 5th) is Sinterklaas, we already put up the Christmas Tree. Mostly because tomorrow we have a birthday, and also next weekend we have other plans. The time of Christmas songs has come. From tomorrow on I think we will hear them a lot on the radio. It always is a cosy time of the year.

Hopefully it will be cosy at all aspects in life. At work it is quit troubled. Our projects are not going as wanted because ideas about what we expect from each other differ quite a lot. Hopefully everything can be worked out.

Ciao!
Isis

Finally some news.... I can stay!

Finally! It took like for ever. But last week I was told I can stay at my job. Permanently! They gave me a fixed contract. Got the letter in the mail november 6th. Waauw, my first fixed contract. A new chapter in my life.

Ciao!
Ixis

23 days till Christmas

Let the countdown begin! ;) We already have some presents in the attic which can be given and unwrapped when it's Christmas. Only 23 days left!

I have been working full-time for a year now. It's okay, I am used to it by now. The salary is nice because of it. But I won't deny loving the 4 day work week. It has also been a year since I became the advisor of this new organization part. Eventhough there can, and will be a lot of sh*t going on, it is also really fun and challenging to do. Today I also had a chat with an upcoming head of the new social domain department. Just to get a better feel of what is going on there so it can help me choose my own career and make a career step in that direction. Because, let's face it. In about 7 months it might just be the case that I am looking for a new career then. In about 2 months, February, I am going to talk to my boss again about my contract. Because I need to give me some time in searching for a possible new job. It makes me nervous writing about it because it might just as well be reality. From the beginning they have told me it is a temporary position. With my new colleague starting the day after tomorrow there might me hands enough so they can let me go. I have to keep in mind that were one door closes another one opens. 

Ciao!

Ixis

Hello December!

                                    It's the last month of the year, make it count!

I have been lousy at writing blogposts lately. I just don't take the time for it. Which is too bad, because it is fun. It makes me think about stuff, or at least it makes me wright about stuff I think about. In my last blogpost I wrote about new people at work. Today our first new colleague started. A girl my age, she seems nice but I still have to get to know her. And this Thursday the second new colleague will start. Very nice to have some extra hands to help with all the work, but also worrying about what it might mean for me. As i probably have written before my contract will end by the end of June. It cannot be prolonged (only if we are going to be creative), but I am doubtful whether or not my colleagues and especially boss want to be creative like that. Yes I am insecure. Just last week I got some nice compliments. But then others stuff happens and just the tiniest thing makes me doubt myself again. Just like these new colleagues. Will they be better than me? Will they be nicer than me? In the eyes of others? It is not a question in my own eyes, I am sure they will. But apparently what others think (still) matters to me a great deal. 

The last month of the year. As the last few years, this one flew by as well. I am very much looking forward to christmas. I love that holiday, with the warmth it holds. Being with friends and family, having Christmas diner and give each others presents to show them how much you love them. 

Ciao!

Ixis

New people

There are going to be new people at work. They will become two direct colleagues. I am involved in finding one of them, my colleague in finding the other. Amongst the other candidates there is someone I know from the past. Like 10 to 12 years ago. High school. Yes high school. That time in your life when hormones are racing and you are busy impressing boys and making friends and enemies. Those groups at school you just don;t hang out with because you know you don't click. I wouldn't not say this person is/was my enemy, but she sure is someone I don't (didn't?) click with. She will be coming for an interview tomorrow. Will I see here? Will she still be the same? Am i still the same? I am definitely not looking forward to having her as my new colleague. But then, who knows, maybe we have changed in these past 10 years.

Ciao!

Ixis

Tagged along with a colleague

About a week and a half ago I tagged along with a colleague who is working in the field of social support in the community. Most of her job is about applying the social support act with the 'needy / invalid' civilians (if that is the right translation). I tagged along because I think this might a field in which I am interested. I did enjoy this afternoon very much. It helped me widen my view on the field and to better understand it. It was very interesting. There is also adjacent field of social support about the 'work and social assistance act' (correct translation?) which I think I might also be interested in. So I am planning to ask another colleague if I could tag along with here as well. This all in my job- and my self-development search. Because I more and more feel there has to change something. I imposed a milestone upon myself to reach the two years at this employer (february 2015), because I am not a quitter. I can learn a lot from being in this position (both job-wise and self-development wise). It is almost October and I made a deal with myself to go and start tot do some serious job hunting in around January 2015. Not only because I want to work in the field of Public Health but also because my contract will most likely end in July 2015.

Ciao!

Ixis

1,5 year milestone, clearance in what I want?

Have been working at the company for 1,5 years now, another milestone. 2 weeks ago I received my 'new contract', it is prolonged until July 1th 2015. So if all goes well I will at least make the 2-year mark and almost the 2,5 year mark. At least that kind of helps from not being a job hopper. Last week for the first time I felt it was becoming a bit more concrete what it is I want to do, but especially why. I feel like I want to be socially involved in the first line. Ok, this is probably going to sound a bit weird in English, but I'll try to explain. Because it helps me when I have to explain it to a future employer. I have an advisory job now. And most of what I do is advise some else to do something in a certain way. I feel like I want to be the person doing the actual work. Advising makes it feel to much from a distance. Besides I feel like I want to really mean something and be able to see it. So to be directly involved in everything. I want to feel my job has meaning. Help people who really need it. I experience these feel ins second hand now while advising. I want to feel them first hand. Besides, I think I can be of much more help when doing something actually socially involved. Not just finding a way to lots of bureaucracy in side conditions.

Ciao!
Ixis

Spoiled for Christmas - predicaments

Book eat, pray, love

I was really spoiled with Christmas. Two beautiful days surrounded with family, warmth, love, good food and presents. Lots of presents.  My boyfriend really surprised me by giving me a book I have wanted for some time now and a lovely game! I am truly blessed. Not because of these materialistic presents. But because we were able to spent Christmas together with the ones we love and were able to buy presents. Which means we can worry about what to buy for one another, because we don't have to worry about much more serious stuff like money issues of health complaints. Not fot these few days at least.

You know you are blessed in life when you worry about the little things. What to wear, what to eat, how busy you are at work and the one stupid colleague who doesn't listen to you. In my eyes, these all are actually nothings when you compare them to what really matters in life. Your loved ones and your (and theirs) health. Everything else doesn't matter anymore when somethings is up with that. So, when you catch yourself think about the business at work, or why your boss chose that project while you think it is completely wrong, just stop for a minute and realize that. Realize you are able to worry about these things because your base in life (your friend and family) are doing fine.

I did, after everything that happened to dad. But it sure as hell goes 'back to normal' very fast. This perspective of knowing an feeling what really matters, fades really quickly. Thank God my dad is doing ok now. I which and pray it stays that way. In a blink of an eye my day to day worries began to predominate again. Especially work, as that aspect in life is one which is giving me a lot to think about. Leaving me now, writing this, contemplating; do I work to live, or do I live to work? Knowing it and truly feeling it are 2 different things. All these adult responsibilities come into play which makes a decision much more hard.

Ciao!
Ixis

All stressed up

Keep talking about work, but at the moment it is because I don't like it. I feel like a beginner all over again. So much stress and pressure that I am feelling. Pressure to deliver and I doubt if I can deliver it. But it pays the mortgage and the very expensive car repair. Plus what else do I do, it's not like you pick and choose your job easily.

Ciao!

Ixis

December 1st

December 1st 2013. Only one month, 31 days to day to go before we get to celebrate new years eve and start a new fresh year with hopefully lots of opportunities. A memorable date today. 2 years ago, december 1st I started my working career. One year ago I lost this job today as I couldn't be given a fixed contract. This year, today I formally start working fulltime at my job. I have been give this extra organizational part which comes with a lot of work. And I have started to work on it about 3 or 4 weeks ago. Up until now I have done it in 32 hours per week, so I had one day (wednesday) off. From this week on, starting tomorrow, I will be working fulltime. Last week I had an evaluation with my boss about how things are going. And I think they are going pretty fine. In the collaboration with my co-workers, with the projects and with my personal development. I feel I am learning, learning about what I want to do with my life. Since everything happend with dad I want to focus on what I want with my life more clearly. And the content of this job isn't that I guess. But, I want to go the states next year (only about 23? weeks left!). And we need to get a new car, and the mortgage needs to be payed. So I have to stick with this job for a little while longer. And that is ok, because it does have aspects which I like doing. And it helps me to define that particular job I want to do for the rest of my life. I like the contact with people, the conversation, giving them advice. But I am really unsure about the given advise because I don't feel confident enough about the matter, the content. I don't like bureaucracy, having to think about whom I have to involve in a process, who needs to give connect. I just want to get started with the content. I like work and health principles, but then people based and focused. I don't get much energy from technical health issues like air tubes in ceilings, sick buildings and stuff. 10 months I have been working at this second company. It's going up to the year. But I already heard I get to stay a little bit longer. 9 months from now until september 1st 2014.

Ciao!

Ixis

After two years

In about two to two-and-a-half weeks I have been working on my career for 2 years. Divided in two jobs in which I both had a workweek of 32 hours. I have been asked to (again) think about an opportunity to be involved in a new part of the organization. I was already asked about this a few months back, but then I said no, because I found I miss the needed experience. But a few months later this question came again, and this time I said yes. I still have my doubts conceding the content of the new tasks, but I didn't want to dig my own grave as a dutch expression says. As I only have a temporary contract, this opportunity could give or bring more chances. And in that way it does. From december on (when I'm in my field of expertise for two years) I can work 36 hours and I can stay until september 2014. To be honest I have been spoiled with this workweek of 4 days and the wednesday of. This won't be the case anymore, which I am sure, will take some adjusting. But of course my pay will rise as well :)

Hope to have made the right choice because yesterday I had a first (not so fun) discussion with on of the 'new' teamleaders, which threw me a bit of my feet. Not at that moment, but afterwards. It is going to be busy and I have to learn a lot.

Ciao!

Ixis

Moving on....

How am I coping? And am I coping, or am I avoiding everything that has happened to dad? He is home again, to rest and become stronger. Monday he will start with a revalidation program. My mom is devastated by the whole event. Am I staying strong to be there for her? And for my dad? Or is this my coping?

Well on another topic, I kind off got a promotion at work :D It is freaking me out of course with all of the new things I have to do. From December 1st I am going to work fulltime and become the advisor for this new organization part next to my 'old' organization part. Plus I got a raise :) Well, I get it this december :)

In the meantime I an trying to relax my mind by searching the internet for inspiration at home. With the holidays approaching I found this real simple but very cool idea:

Ciao!

Ixis

Feeling ....

I thought it was a cute pic

Feeling a little bit down today. And lately I am just out of sorts. A lot has to do with my work at which I am just not comfortable. I am so looking forward to my holiday. A little bit of peace and quite. But then it comes to an end and I have to get back to work. It is too easy to say to just find a new job. In this time of crisis they are not found easily. Second I don't want to be a quitter. You have to stick to something and not give up that easily. It just really keeps affecting me. And I take it out on my boyfriend. However sometimes he may be more sensitive about it. Don't just ask when you actually don't want to hear it. I am stuck and don't really know what to do about it. I have to stake action and be the responsible and pro-active HR person who has all the answers and knows what to do. These expectations are 'killing' me.

Ciao!

Ixis

I am moving!

Not moving houses, but moving at my workplace. In the upcoming two weeks, first I'll have to move internally to another floor and other room. Then I'll have to move to another location 10 km in another direction. It is exciting because I think it will be a good thing. But it brings a lot of unsettlement at the workplace at the moment. A lot of stress and chaos and I feel it effects me. Almost all of my colleagues are moderately negative (correct spelling?). And it does not contribute to my work pleasure. Thereby I am having overall doubts about the content of my job. But I am not quite sure if it is entirely linked to the content or this whole moving thing and everything around that. And of course insecurity all over again and imagining(?) things like my colleagues aren't pleased with me and my work after all.

Ciao!

Ixis

7 more weeks!

7 weeks and a couple of days before our holiday! And hopefully then I can do the same as on the picture above. The last few weeks the whether here has been very nice. Even very hot at some point, but lots of sun. I love it. The summer feeling! Unfortunately the fact that I have to go to work ruins it a bit, but hey, we have the weekends. Speeking of work, I have reached the half year milestone again. Last year this milestone was a focus point for me. As I wasn't feeling sure and comfortable about my work, I insisted of giving it some time before I started judging. These same feelings are here today in this second job. It makes me look back with melancholy to my former job. Eventually I did start to appreciate my former job, but only when I left I think I truly did. You only know what you've got until it's gone, goes the saying. Another cliche which is true. This job is a good way for me to gain more experience and find out what I want to do in life. There are aspects in this and my former job which give me energy and aspects which take energy. The experiences give me the opportunity to learn from them and in a way shape me, so if I have to or want to find a new challenge I can search for one with lots of those things that give me energy. Something I got from reading about job crafting. Enjoy your weekend!

Ciao!
Ixis

2 days off

Last week I finished my first week at my new job. Scary, exiting, nervous and all this at the same time. Will I be at ease there with the work and the colleagues as I was at my last job? I know I need to give it time.

After my first week I immediately start with two days off. 'Nice!' I know some might say, but as I already had 8 weeks off during me job search, for me not so much. Especially since it costs me vacationdays. To compensate for one day I am going to work tomorrow, a day I normally don't work and the thursday and friday.

So here I am again, at home. Even though I now know I have to start working again, I don't feel at ease. Because tomorrow I have to start again. Go to my job where I don't know all the people yet, or the work for that matter. So to relax a bit I am baking a cake with my new mixer!

Ciao!
Ixis

Back to work

After having had a week off, I have to get back to work tomorrow. I'm a bit anxious for all the things that are waiting for me like e-mail, different questions, projects etc. We will see. Tomorrow will be month number twelve already! After november I will be working there for a year.

*update 21:54*
already peaked in my e-mail, and within just this week I got a hundred mails. For some this may not may be much, but thinking that almost every e-mail leads to an action, and all the things still waiting for me it's a lot. Especially knowing that with the busy day tomorrow I won't be able to start on it at all.

Ciao!

Ixis

Half a year

Today it's been exactly six months since I started at my job. On the one hand it went slowy, but on the other it flew by. I survived my first meeting as chairman by the way ;) Ciao! Ixis